Initially this was going to be the same as the article on The Gloss, Han Solo, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Unfortunately we both agreed you marry Han, fuck Vader and kill Luke. So Ari suggested some alternates to the Star Wars Lineup: Han Solo (we just can't get enough), Obi Wan Kenobi and Jar Jar Binks.
Allison: Ok I actually think I'd fuck Obi Wan. Since I think Alec Guinness or Ewan McGregor would be at least an interesting, if not a terribly sexy romp. I'd marry Han, because a lifetime of sex with that is better than just once, plus in the books he turns out as an awesome dad/husband. I'm glad to see we agree: kill Jar Jar. Though that wasn't even difficult. Rebuttals?
Allison: Hahaha reBUTTals.
Ari: Based on the movies alone I don't think Han is marriage material. I think he'd get antsy and fuck off. Besides, who wants a walking carpet hanging around all the time? Sorry Chewy.
Ari: Based on the movies alone I don't think Han is marriage material. I think he'd get antsy and fuck off. Besides, who wants a walking carpet hanging around all the time? Sorry Chewy.
Allison: What in the name of Christ is wrong with you? I will not even respond to your comments on Chewy, since yes I would absolutely love to have Chewy around. He's awesome and apparently Wookie culture is focused on art and philosophy and I think once I learned to speak with him we could have awesome conversations. He's like a big puppy with a gun!
(apparently me not responding is me responding vehemently)
Ari: I'd marry Obi Wan because Ewan McGregor and HE TURNS INTO THE FORCE. And I totally dig the philosopher/Zen warrior thing lol
Allison: Look how devoted Han is to Leia! And you know that prissy bitch won't get down, unless some huge worm monster is putting her in slave-girl garb. He's the opposite of antsy. Although, he may threaten to run off all the time, especially after pay day. There's the whole issue of living without sex while he's frozen in carbonite... Can I fuck Obi Wan then? You may dig the philosopher zen thing in theory, but you wouldn't want to marry it, can you imagine if he did that holier than thou "That's your uncle talking" voice when you got in an argument. Hell no. Fuck him, sure. Marry him, definitely not.
Ari: Hahahaha Omg I miss these talks lol
Allison: See!!! I told you. Anyway have I convinced you?
Ari: Yes!
Allison: Look how devoted Han is to Leia! And you know that prissy bitch won't get down, unless some huge worm monster is putting her in slave-girl garb. He's the opposite of antsy. Although, he may threaten to run off all the time, especially after pay day. There's the whole issue of living without sex while he's frozen in carbonite... Can I fuck Obi Wan then? You may dig the philosopher zen thing in theory, but you wouldn't want to marry it, can you imagine if he did that holier than thou "That's your uncle talking" voice when you got in an argument. Hell no. Fuck him, sure. Marry him, definitely not.
Ari: Hahahaha Omg I miss these talks lol
Allison: See!!! I told you. Anyway have I convinced you?
Ari: Yes!
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